A declaration of soft power, sacred boundaries, and intentional connection

I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone who calls you “family” or “friend” has your best interest at heart.

That some people love your light but not your truth.

That being wanted isn’t the same as being respected.

That loyalty without boundaries is a trap, not love.

I am no longer available for friendships that:

• Require me to shrink to keep the peace.
• Twist care into obligation.
• Sexualize or possess me under the guise of closeness.
• Treat my silence as consent.

From now on, I choose:

• Friendships that feel like exhale, not performance.
• People who check in, not check out.
• Mutual care, not spiritual tug-of-war.
• Curiosity over control.
• Slowness over urgency.
• Clarity over confusion.

I want friends who see me for who I am, not who they need me to be.

Friends who don’t use my empathy as a landing pad for their avoidance.

Friends who understand that “sibling” or “friend” means protection, not predation.

Friends who recognize when their trauma starts to spill into harm and take responsibility.

In my community:

• Boundaries are holy.
• Affection is mutual.
• Laughter and tears both belong.
• Everyone is a full person; not a sidekick, not a project, not a possession.

To those who try to own me, fix me, or keep me as a placeholder: no more.

To those who honor me, grow with me, and show up with care: welcome.

We are building something real now.

Together, we choose each other, not once, but over and over, with respect, intention, and joy.