Upon traveling down to Tifton, Georgia to celebrate my partner’s Mother’s wedding union, it had not occurred to me Imbolc was also this weekend. For those unfamiliar with Wiccan Sabbats:
Wiccans celebrate Imbolc (Feb 1st) by honoring the goddess Brigid, focusing on purification, new beginnings, and the returning light, using candles, spring cleaning, feasting (especially dairy), planting seeds, making Brigid’s Crosses from straw/rushes for protection, and setting intentions for the coming spring through rituals, meditation, and connecting with nature’s first signs of life.
Knowing what Imbolc brings after the fact, I was glad I sat by Loki’s alter for guidance and truth as my partner and I set off on the road south. And I’m not saying it caused the whole weekend to go mostly smoothly… but I’m also not saying it didn’t. I mean just look at that powerful portrait though. Even though I slayed so hard, I was nervous about the new (and old) faces I’d come across, dawning my authentic self (transmasc and queer) in broad daylight. Apart from the possible charged racism (and homophobia) we’d come across, I was not ignorant to the current political climate, nor the stories my partner’s family told me while growing up in the Deep South.
I’ve said this before, and I will say it again. I love my chosen family; whether it be my own (small circle) friends or even my partner’s immediate family and family friends. However, this weekend we all gained even more family than maybe we actually know what to do with! We had met the new family members about two years ago during a family reunion, getting to know each other across the world in little Hampton, Georgia. I was astound by how many of our new family members were so mixed bag in terms of being very progressive. You had some who were into crystals, LGBTQ, agnostic, etc. I had expected the worst provided that the groom came from the same backwards town that my partner and his brothers grew up in with their parents. I was most caught off guard with how welcoming they were of me and even affirming. It had been so long since I had real family connection of any kind since my partner’s folks and siblings were so disconnected and spread out most of the time. Let alone me not even having my own blood family around. I enjoyed it so much that I got whiplash when going home on if what I experienced was even real!
On the day of the wedding, my partner and I ran around trying to get the groomsmen together: me pinning on the flowers boutonnières and my partner tying the ties of all ages. It was great to feel like my partner and I were a true partnership and even mini project managers. It felt like a saw more of his therapy working, too, as it was hard for him to accept the idea of having a Stepfather and interacting with potential toxic people from his hometown. I know his/our “mum” was very happy and pleased with us, which probably is why she also called us for support to help during the final two hours before the ceremony.
Now… let’s not pretend it was perfect. I got misgendered multiple times. Some people were kind. Some people were confused. And one of the religious godparents hit me with the legendary: “Whatever you are…” statement when my partner quipped with correction “they them”. “Whatever you are” honestly makes me sound like I’m a cryptid. A queer forest spirit. A mystery Pokémon. A rare artifact. Nonetheless, my partner said it came natural to correct people about me. And even when the godparents and old heads were stuck buffering like Windows 95, they still took the correction and moved forward.
All in all, the part I really don’t want to lose is this feeling of being connected. I don’t want this to be one of those “great weekends, then everyone disappears into the void” situations like how my partner and his family historically have done. The irony of Imbolc being this weekend is the fact that this wedding union was here to serve as the returning light, stepping into a new hearth. With this resurgence in connection and obtaining new family members, my vows for this Imbolc and weekend takeaway are simple:
- Stay in touch on purpose with bids and invites
- Let people love me without me questioning it
- Keep building family where I can
- And keep correcting people without shrinking myself
Because if this is what “returning light” feels like?
Yeah, I’ll take more of that.
Imbolc said: “Here. Have warmth.”
And I said: “Thank you. Also please update everyone’s pronouns in their system settings.” 🙏🏽😂
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